Magpie Submission

Ralph Waldo Emerson once said that "the only reward of virtue is virtue; the only way to have a friend is to be one," but what does that really mean? The word friendship implies a certain relationship establish by at least two people who consider themselves friends, but no one's taken the time to define what a friend is. Is it a state of mind? A way of living? A school of thought? Perhaps it is none of these things, or all of them. What is certain is the undeniable bond the word is associated with. No one knows how these bonds happen. Most people aren't even aware of its formation. Suddenly one finds himself stuck on the verge of adulthood with an aggregate of people and you realize then that it is them that you form your identity with. You are no longer an individual - perhaps you never were - but apart of something much larger than you can ever imagine. And you accept this because it comes naturally. It feels right. You accept it because you can't imagine a time when you will be without it.

Suddenly you have friends. They're different from you from one degree to a complete three-sixty. Sometimes you disagree or fight. Sometimes you do things you regret. But it is the differences, you realize, that make the bond that much stronger. Accepted and realized, you and the ones you've let into the corner of the world you call your life are able to exist without prejudice, without fear. You'll mess up, this part is inevitable, but ultimately these people will be there waiting for you at the other end of the path you've chosen, ready to walk along side you for another stretch before you need to wander off into the field for more self-actualization.

So what defines it? Trust, understanding, caring, but most importantly it's resilience. No matter what one of you does, no matter how much of a git one acts like, after the ordeal is done the true sign of friendship is that they're all still there in the end.

Friendship is a unique contract one signs into without even being aware. It is different for everyone - a sentiment seen by the lack of academics able to pin it down. It changes, it adapts, and it is never the same. It was pointed out to me once that we were "not in the subjunctive anymore." A sentiment I now fully understand.